Fina and Vanessa Take on the PCT

Keep your chin up little grasshopper

2010-04-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since i have sat to write but i want you all to know that it has nothing to do with me waning on my desire to do this. In reality it has to do with reality. The last year has been harder than I have had in many years emotionally and financially. Right now I spend more time reacting than being able to plan, such is the way of things when shit hits the fan and sprays in all directions.

I have been scrambling since December after losing my job to find a constant source of income and although i have made it this far, it is only by the hair on my chiny chin chin. I have successfully gone through my 401k, my tax return, and have run out of resources. As many people out there right now i have been hard working at finding a job and been unsuccessful. I do have something lined up beginning on the 10th of May and am hoping that it is the beginning of making it back into the work force. Although i have been working I have been working at a minimum wage job (without tips after years of being a waitress) at 30-35 hours a week and it simply doesn't pay enough to live on.

This only makes me more fervant in my quest to do this hike. I have not lost my conviction on this and know that after making it through all of this i have an experience in front of me that will be that of a life time.

Today is an off day for me and i plan on using it to get back to planning this. I had a doctors appointment this morning with a blood draw that equalled 12 vials and although it doesn't leave me completely useless i like to take the day to think about my HIV and my place in this world.

Think about your dreams today and think about how you can achieve them. Then implement your plan. I know you can do it.

Weekend Update

2010-04-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Fina and I headed up to Mount Laguna again to walk a little more of the PCT. We started at the same point we left off from on our last trip with the intention of hiking for a couple of hours and turning around. It was a magnificiently beautiful hike and I woke up excited about heading up the mountain.

We were definetly tested on this hike though. The wind was beyond blustery and it cut through my clothing like I wasn't wearing anything to protect me. I was though. I was layered. It was a little taste of what the elements can do and how extreme they can be. I also got a blister from wearing socks that were too thick with my shoes. I knew those socks and shoes would give me a blister i had just forgotten and got stuck walking with a raw heel.

Fina has spent the morning writing to sponsors in hopes of getting things like samples from food companies which seems to be the most plausible way of getting help from larger companies. We have also written a local foundation that provides an avenue for people to get charitable programs up and running and are impatiently waiting for their reply.

The other really great news over the weekend is that Fina had a PET scan last week and it looks like her cancer is gone! They're still making her finish up her chemo but we know for sure that when she finishes she can start training at full force. Yeah!!!

Check out our pics from the hike on facebook and have a great week everyone. Cross your fingers that the path opens up for us soon.

I'm Still Standing/ Better than I ever did/ looking like a true survivor 3/26/10

2010-03-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Cancer is a bitch. Truely sucks. It has a way of raping tomorrow.

Yesterday Fina and I drove up to Laguna mountain and hiked the Big Laguna Trail. Ten miles in total. Four of the miles encompassing the Pacific Crest Trail. It was the first time i had walked into a forest in many years, that wasn't quarantined and roped off like a trophy room for summer campers, and to be honest I was a little nervous walking away from the vehicle.

It was an amazing trail. The first 5 miles wandered through a forested lake checkered by the cedar fires. We saw a potato bug unlike anything i have ever seen before and know it was a potato bug only by researching it when we got home. It looked like a giant orange ant, larger in length than a quarter and meatier than any ant i've ever seen. To be honest it was scary looking but apparently very harmless.

Like i said i was nervous walking away from the vehicle into the mountain. Southern California pocesses alot that i'm unfamiliar with, namely mountain lions. They scare the lights out of me.

Growing up in the forest in Oregon i have been face to face with many animals that some might be frightened of. A black bear, elk, and bobcats. None of wich left me more than amazed. These animals under most circumstances are just as frightened by you as you are of them. A bear holds no threat provided its not spring and they're cubbing. A moma bear is nothing to mess with, but a bear in general has no use for you. They really aren't that big of meat eaters and unless they feel threatened will walk away from you. Of course i've never had to deal with a grizzly. If i ever make it to Wyoming or Montana then i'll be nervous.

A moma elk will be a threat also. Any animal with babies will do everything they can to protect them. I have slept with a herd of elk before though. They moved in late one night when my brother and i had decided to camp outside about a quarter mile from our house. Mostly they just snorted got comfortable and when morning came they moved on. It was a really cool experience.

Mountain lions, like the ones we have down here, are another story. They're carnivorous and wouldn't mind eating you. It means nothing to them. There isn't much you can do in a situation where you are confronted with a large cat but try and be bigger, louder, and meaner. Easier said than done when a cat is staring you down. I have seen one from a distance. One morning hiking in Mission Trails with my dog, coming over a ridge i saw a large cat with her cub about a half a mile in front of us. She paused long enough to spot Morgan and me and then took off down a trail. It was a really cool thing to see, but it was also at a distance.

All my resersvations gave way though as we wound ourselves around the forest and neared the lake. I felt a sense of home that i haven't in a long time. The trail wound around and back up to cross Sunrise highway a little over 5 miles in. The second half of the trail, after it met up with the PCT, was the kind of trail that takes your breath away and makes you aware of your place in this universe. The vistas on top of the mountain were amazing.

The mountain gave way to steep bluffs covered with chaparel and blustering winds. I wished i had had a knive with me to leave a marker, to see next year when we traverse that part of the trail again. Looking over the edge of the mountain from the ridge you could see clearly the valley below, cut perfectly out of the mountain, and further to the east the desert opening up. It really was one of those awe inspiring views.

Then today we woke up early to go out to breakfast before we went in for Fina's chemo. Its a strange thing this cancer. Its strange that the world doesn't stop moving when you do. Its strange that one day you can be talking about this really crazy plan you have and then the next, there are these nurses injecting poison into you, reminding you that everything here hangs on a thread. None of it is guaranteed. And there are moments of weakness, and immense strength all tied together.

When this current reality rears its head it reminds me how wonderful the next reality will be. I can't wait for that freedom. I can't wait for all the hard work making this happen gives way to it actually happening and most of all i can't wait to have a beer with Fina and toast the death of Zoid (her cancer). I have this really cheesey vision of us dancing to Elton Johns I'm Still Standing. It ought to be a blast.

What do you know?

2010-03-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Gearing up for a small hike today at Cowles. The hike the other day up Vulcan mountain reminded me of what happens to your body when you ignore it over the winter. Won't be able to get away with that this year. I'm nervous about going into it. I usually bounce back pretty quickly when i go through a period of slothy-ness, but thinking about being able to hike with a 25 pound pack and 8 liters of water a day for 20 miles is definetly going to take some serious training.

We are slightly hindered by Fina's condition right now. She has chemo every other Friday and it renders her into a zombie for about 3 days, and then ill for about 2-3 days more. It sucks because she pretty much bounces back for the second week and then has to go back. It seems though, that we will be able to get some pretty good mild hiking in before she finishes. And i have this master plan to exhaust her the Thursdays before chemo and then at least a 30 minute walk the morning of.

On our trip to REI the other day we picked up a copy of A foot and A field in San Diego county that details all of the hiking trails in and around San Diego county. It'll be invaluable as we go into the physical training for this. Its also really cool to go exploring and there is so much i didn't know.

The other hot topic for us right now is getting a postal scale and a food dehydrator. I know that we can find a dehydrator for fairly cheap. They're not too expensive new and i'm sure we can find one on Craigslist or at a garage sale for cheaper. We have a lot to learn about food and packaging meals that will be lightweight and easy to make.

Weight is a huge issue when we talk about what we will need to take with us. An ultra light packer carries around 20lbs excluding water. Most people do not succeed in carrying such a minimal pack. We have to be really smart about this though because every calorie that we eat and expend needs to be paid attention to. The more weight you carry the harder your trip is. So we will need a postal scale. Every ounce counts. If you can shave an ounce here or an ounce there it quickly turns into a pound. When you start to break it down your meals alone will take up half of the weight, then you have a tent that hopefully we will be able to find for 4 to 5lbs. These bare essentials put us at 15lbs already. Then there is the weight of the pack itself, change of clothing, toothbrush, utensils, tiny stove, headlamp, sleeping bag, etc.

The amount of planning that this will require alone is more than i really expected. Thinking about how to get this funded just scares me. And to be honest i'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I've been thinking about it for a month now and still have no better solution than when i started. I know what we want to accomplish. Our first goal is to be able to do this, to be the first woman with HIV, and the first with Lymphoma to complete the 2,650 miles. To come back and use this to help other women find their way through their obstacles and do something amazing. So do i lump it all together as one giant charity? Do i go after private sponsorships? If we were to go after it all as one and create an account for people to donate to, then what was left would be equally divided to our causes, but the real cost of this is fairly phenominal and its questionable that we could get enough funding to contribute to any cause after we're done. What do i need to be aware of in regards to taxes? Do i shop for sponsors for gear and food, and then accept donations based on miles hiked for our respective causes? (i like this solution the best but it doesn't cover all the cost of us actually doing it)

Either way we do it we have to have these questions answered soon. Time is wasting and we have to get started. Though i am proud of all that we have accomplished this far. Our research, although never-ending, has answered so many questions for us. And we have started to organize many aspects of what needs to be accomplished so not all is hopeless. I would appreciate any suggestions you may have on how to handle the sponsorship of this trip it is uncharted territory for both of us.

Well its time for me to get ready for the daily hike and to go out an enjoy this amazing weather. Have a wonderful day everyone and think about your life and what you want from it. And then go out and get it.

Mt. Vulcan

2010-03-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Hope everyone is well.

Fina and I have been hiking a little and yesterday drove out to Vulcan Mountain for a lovely view of all that is around San Diego. It was very cool standing at the top and seeing the desert on one side of the range and the lush green valley on the Julian side.

As we were reaching the top we came upon a gate that was closing the summit until April 3rd. There was a group of people milling around it trying to decide whether or not to climb it. Very glad they were the rule breaking kind because the view at the top was amazing.

We passed a couple that also climbed the gate and of course we were the only ones to get caught by the forest service. Ranger Beth was very kind to us though and didn't lash us for climbing the gate. She suggested we email them and ask them to open a little sooner.

I know this is short and a little unentertaining but i'm sort of in a rush. We have a ten mile hike planned for Thursday and there will be lots of pics. We are starting to have a bit of an idea of a training schedule that we can adhere to while Fina finishes up here chemo. And then we will have to turn ourselves into lean mean hiking machines.

The Run Down

2010-03-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hi guys. Well its been several days since either of us has posted anything. But it has not been days without working on this project.

Wednesday we spent most of our time at REI exploring products and getting information. People really love you when you tell them what you're up to. It's impressive to people and more than once we've had people barrage us with questions.

We have gotten 2 of the books needed to plan and at this point could begin planning the entire California portion. We still need the last book in the Wilderness Press Pacific Crest Trail series which covers Oregon and Washington. We also still need Yogi's Planning Guide and the PCTA's Data book.

We've figured out a tentative trial run schedule for October that will be 7 days in the San Juancinto area ending in Big Bear. We figure its close enough that we can get someone to come get us but its also a little different than the area around us that we will be training in.

We are at an advantage training for this here in the desert. It seems to be the portion of the trail that most people complain about because of the long distances between water and the heat. We will be training in it so it won't really be a big deal to us when we actually start out on this trip.

Every year there is an Annual Day Zero Pacific Crest Trail Kickoff that we will definitley be at next year. We are also planning on attending this year and have already paid our donation to do so. Fina may not make it out there because of the chemo but i definetly will. I can't wait to be surrounded by people that are starting their adventure this year. They have classes on how to pack your pack lightly, what kind of foods are good and lightweight, and just to be able to ask questions of people who have done it or other thru-hikes.

Well i think thats all for today. I really did want to make sure you all knew that we are still hard at work making this happen. I know this is a bit dry but no worries, soon we will be uploading video blogs and may be directing you to youtube.

Have a great day everyone and think about what amazing things you want to accomplish.

Bears, Bugs and Sasquatch

2010-03-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

As a child, I didn't really like camping, hiking, or nature. My mom, however, loved it and I was her faithful sidekick. At the time I wasn't very appreciative of this, but looking back I never would have become the person I am today without it. When my mom an I moved to Oregon, I had never seen a bay before, let alone the ocean and to me, camping was unheard of. I was scared of bears, bugs,Sasquatch and whatever other creatures lived in those mysterious forests. Looking back, we went on some truely amazing camping trips, all through Oregon, Washington's Olympic Rainforest and into Canada. There were points in my life where we had no car, but that didn't stop us from a good camping trip. We would take the GreyHound and get dropped off and hike into the parks. Now I find this kind of adventurous spirit truely amazing, at the time, however, I was not impressed. You would think, that because I disliked hiking and camping as a child, I still would not care for being in the outdoors, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. When I think of moments in my life when I have been the happiest these moments always occured in nature.The older I get my appreciation for mother nature continues to grow.Whether I liked it or not my mom taught me to appreciate the outdoor, respect nature and encouraged my adventurous spirit.
These are the experiences that have brought me to this point, the things that have made me want to hike the PCT. Being in nature is a balancing and humbling experience. I feel like I've spent too many years in the city, caught up in all the material things our society offers and now I need to be closer to mother nature. These are the reasons I have decided to take six months and walk away from society, become one with the earth and find my spirtuality on this 2600+ mile walk.

Freedoms Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose

2010-03-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

Hi there. Its been a few days. I really meant to write every day but not quite as easy as i thought it was going to be. Life gets in the way and all.

Every day that i spend thinking about this the more i realize that it is what i have to do. There is no question that it is. I know that i want to be one of those people that does something amazing. I want to be someone who accomplishes something they thought they never could.

When i was a child up until the second grade i mostly lived in the Kalamiposis Wilderness under a tarp with my brother, my mom, her boyfriend and a couple of goats. My mother and her boyfriend, and his friends were arrested swat team style for, up until that time, the largest Marijuana bust in Oregons history.

I remember that we were not allowed to play outside at certain times and we had to stay under tree cover so that helicopters flying over could not see us. Our tarp shelter was covered with dirt and branches. It was dug into an embankment so that we had a wall made of dirt. it was quite comfortable though. We had everything you could need. I loved it.

The world that we lived in was amazing. So incredibly magnificent and wonderful. I remember being so in awe of the insects and plants that we saw. How much my mom taught me about the world around us. I remembered the way back to camp when we would go to town for supplies. I was taught how to use markers and make markers. To look for water paths if i was lost. What bear poop looked like and how to tell how old it was.

Then in the 5th grade after a couple years living closer to the tiny town i grew up around we moved out toward Bridge. A small village outside Myrtle Point, Oregon. There i lived on 10,000 acres of SunStuds property. We were at the head of two gates that lead to BLM or SunStuds land. We were the gatekeepers. Responsible for monitoring hunting.

My brother and i had free run of it. We would spend the entire day wondering around the forest. Hunting for mushrooms. We had elk and turkies that migrated through our yard every year. Usually the turkies would hang around for a while and mingle with our geese and chickens. Turkies are down for free food.

My brother and i would set out to get lost. We found amazing places that i still think about fondly. We found old homesteads with ancient ladders and wagon wheels. We found remnants of an old saw mill that had a mountain of composting woodchips that hung over a hill. That was sooo much fun. We would take a flying leap off of the edge of that and land in the soft chips.

When it would rain and flood the creeks we would play in the water. So much water would run down the mountains that you could almost literally slide down. We had favorite places for finding treasures like chantrelles.

The amount of freedom that i had as a child is something most of my friends that i have now, could never understand. There is no point of comparision for them. They have lived their entire life under the constraints of city life.

Now i live in San Diego. I love it here. It has a lot to offer. There's beaches and desert. There's mountains and excellent hiking. But i live in a concrete world. I do hike and i camp but the majority of the time i am walking on pavement. It is hard to hear the Earths heart beat. I don't feel it moving the way that i felt it moving as a child.

Now in my life i spend time working a meaningless job that pays a meaningless wage. I have doctors appointments more often than most people. Every three months i go and let vampires suck blood out of me so that they can tell me what my T-cell count is and my viral load.

I miss freedom. I miss the smell of wet soil. And giant ferns, and lady fingers. I miss random lost orchards still bearing fruit. I miss the Earth. And i can't wait to get back to it.

2010-03-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

I just got the PCT Southern California guide book. Now we can start really planning our Idyllwild test run. We are hoping to make this trip in October, weather permitting. This means we are going to have to get a fair amount of equipment that we need, and also try it out, to see if it will work on our six month trek. The preparation and the test run itself will be huge learning experiences.

Its all about the Benjamins

2010-03-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

Remaining excited about an idea usually is hard. Everything seems really great in the beginning and you step into it feet first and running and then you start to slow down and the initial shininess of the idea wears off. This isn't happening to me yet, however the mountain in front of me accomplishing this is enourmous. I feel as though i'm staring at a brick wall.

Last night Fina and I were talking about the things that scare us as we go into this. She seemed more concerned with the Sierras. True they are scary, but i'm terrified of the financial cost of this. How are we going to make enough money to do this?

From what i've read the cost of equipment runs in the thousands. There are certain things we can't skimp on or hunt down on craigslist. Like shoes. We will need to be fitted properly and we'll go through approximately six pairs. Having a good light weight down sleeping bag is essential, their cost: between $250-$380. We can't cut corners on our shelter, our feet, and our sleeping bags. These things will have to be bought new.

Then theres the six months we're giving ourselves to do this. The average hiker does it in 5 mos. but we'd like to have a little room for whatever happens. Six mos. without any income. Six mos. of mailing supplies to ourselves. The cost of UPS and Postal Service for a package every 4 to 5 days will add up real quick. And the occasional stay in a town, in a hotel, with beer and a burger will be necessary.

My solution to this is to get sponsors. Hopefully someone will pay attention to us and help us out. I kinda figure that our story alone will make people want to help us out. Of course there are a lot of hikers out there looking for sponsors and getting a sponsorship is nearly impossible. I know i'll manage it though. We're at an advantage with our story. Who doesn't love a story about people overcoming the odds.

The more you know

2010-03-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

March 10th is national Women and Girls AIDS/HIV awareness day. The majority of women who get HIV get it from a partner they believe they are in a committed relationship with. We haven't focused the way we ought to on prevention among women. We're mostly seen as a non risk and this simply isn't true. The number of women living with HIV is on the rise and i don't just mean among women living in Africa that have to deal with rape, i'm talking about women here in the U.S..

According to the CDC AIDS is second only to heart disease and cancer as our top killer. The only way to end its spread is to enlighten women to their risk. The majority still seem to believe that HIV/AIDS belongs to a certain type of person and the truth is it doesn't. I don't know anyone that hasn't had unprotected sex. These are the people that HIV belongs to. It belongs to everyone. Its a little virus that doesn't give much thought to what color you are, whether you like to use drugs, or how much money you have.

Take time to get tested ladies. It takes only minutes and the results are instantaneous, you don't have to wait with your fingers crossed. You'll know in ten minutes. I really believe that the best cure for this is prevention. We've come a long way but there is still a long way to go.

2010-03-03T16:05:00.000-08:00

Now that we've made the decision to do this its become all i can think about. I've spent hours researching it and all the things we'll need. All the things we'll need to know. It seems overwhelming. There are so many things to think about. Food, equipment, resuppling, really understanding how to read a map without buildings or signs to give me an idea of where i am. Its boggling really.

The trail runs from Campo down here by the border all the way north into Canada. It totals 2,650 miles. When i try to imagine what its going to really be like i truly realize that i have no point of reference. I will never know until i actually take it on. All of the universe that i will see on this hike is unimaginable. Being in the wilderness for so many days at a time i'm sure will be both life affirming and life questioning. The vastness of our Earth will be awe inspiring and i can't wait.

I can't wait to sleep under the moon and the stars. When i was a child we spent a very long period of time living in the wilderness under a tarp, so in many ways i have some experience with this. But it has been years and i'm accustomed to checking my facebook and texting, and wasting time playing stupid games on my iphone. I'm used to being able to run to the store at any time of day. It's been ten years since i've lived in a small town and everytime i go home i'm always surprised to find that you can't get anything past 8:30 or 9. I'm sure there will be times that we will be walking into some small town as its closing its doors for the evening.

I know that there will be times that we will want to give up. We will be tired, bone tired. We will get sick of walking. Just plain sick of it. We will be hot and we will be cold. Its so overwhelming. And its so incredibly exciting.